Alan Schin (he/him/his) is the Chief Editor at Taimi. He wears several hats daily as a writer, editor, blogger, and content contributor. He began his university studies as a Psychology student but found his passion in Advanced Communication Studies. Alan loves having the opportunity to write and help our content team shine. According to Alan, his education helps him to understand the dynamics behind dating and socialization better. When he isn’t busy with Taimi, Alan works on his first novel, a sci-fi thriller, and creates works of art in his ceramics studio.
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Every relationship you find yourself in requires a lot of work. This is especially true when it comes to romantic relationships. If you have recently found yourself with a new girlfriend, you definitely want to make sure that you do everything in your power for them to be happy with you.
This can be a little challenging, especially if either of you has been in bad relationships in the past. There are quite a few things that make up a healthy and loving lesbian relationship. Here are some tips to help you be a good partner in your new relationship.
Put All Your Effort Into Communicating
One of the most important things in every relationship is good communication. While you might hear a lot of people mention how important communication is, you probably don't know how to get there.
The first thing to do in order to work on your communication is to talk about anything that's on your mind with your partner. No matter how big or small, sharing your thoughts allows the two of you to get to know and understand each other better. If you don't share what's on your mind, there is no chance of the other person knowing what you have to say.
When you need something, speak it. If something is bothering you, let your partner know. If something is making you happy, share this with your other half and see how you can keep the honeymoon phase going. In general, communicating anything that's on your mind with your partner will keep you feeling like you're both best friends and lovers who are always on the same page.
Be Prepared to Make Compromises
Some people expect to be able to not change a thing about themselves while being with someone else. Most couples that go into a relationship with this mentality don't end up staying together very long. While your partner shouldn't ask you to change certain things that are important to you and make up your personality, you should still be open to making some changes.
The truth is that no matter how much you love someone, you will never be 100% compatible. Relationships require sacrifices and compromise, otherwise, both parties won't be happy and this will lead to arguments. In a healthy lesbian relationship, you need to know when your actions make your partner unhappy and pay attention to the negative interactions so you can both do better.
This is also where communication once again comes to play, as the only way to know what your partner needs you to change is to talk about it with them. No matter how big or small, if something you do is really bothering your partner, you can take action and make changes. This will show them just how much you appreciate them and help you build a happier future together.
Try to Be a Good Listener
Showing genuine interest and letting your partner talk when they need it is something that most lesbian relationships are already good at while many heterosexual relationships lack. When you are in a loving relationship with someone you care about deeply, you want to make sure that their thoughts are always heard.
Knowing how your partner feels and taking the time to listen to them, whether they are happy or sad is so important. Not only will it bring you two closer together, but it will also increase the trust between you. When your other half needs to talk, just take the time to listen.
They might need to cry after a long day at work or share new details about their favorite musician or show. Even when other factors come into play, use this alone time as an opportunity to show them how much you care about the things that mean something to them.
"It can only be true love when you enable your other half to be better to be the person they're destined to be". - Michelle Yeoh
Learn to Forgive One Another
Everybody makes mistakes, and while some mistakes can be too big to forgive, most of us make our fair share of simple mistakes in our relationships. Learning to forgive your partner and not hold grudges can be tricky, especially when you are carrying your own trauma with you. Not everyone is able to talk things through immediately and find solutions while putting their anger aside.
When you are encountering a problem and you have gotten into a fight over something, the best thing to do is remove yourself from the situation and explain you need some time to cool off. When you are mad, you might say something you will later regret and it's not worth it to hurt the person you love because you were mad.
Take some time to relax and you will be able to think a lot more logically. As a result, this will make it much easier for you to see who was in the wrong and forgive one another without continuing this fight. This is a life-saver tip for many women in lesbian relationships and can help you avoid such situations in the future.
Don't Stop Flirting With Each Other
Remember how you felt about your partner when you were on that first date? You were probably excited to see them and were flirting with one another a lot. Even if your relationship fits the description of the u-haul joke romance, and you have lived together very early into your relationship, there is no reason to stop being flirty.
Make your partner feel wanted and like they are the hottest girl in the world. Hit on them and make those silly jokes that will make both of you blush. There is no reason to stop keeping things fresh and feeling the same way you felt on your first or second date. Let your feelings for your person be known and this will lead to amazing sex and intimacy.
Flirting can happen in more subtle ways too, especially if your woman is shyer. You can send each other some slightly revealing pics and fun texts like you would in you were just meeting on a lesbian dating app. This is just as important while you're away from one another, especially if you're doing long distance. You can also send them some flowers at work and write them a flirty note.
There are so many different things you can try and all can make a difference and make you feel like you're in the early stages of dating again. Remember what you did for your significant other on your first or second date and let them relive that happy experience and early romance memories.
Surprise One Another Frequently
Unless either of you hates surprises, you should still make the effort to show the woman you love how much she means to you when she least expects it. You can get her some jewelry, take her out on a date to your favorite spot on a random weeknight or even serve her some breakfast in bed.
A surprise can be something as small as an unexpected Friday night out or a cozy indoor movie night. The key to a happy relationship is not how much money you spend on planning something, but how much thought you put into making your loved one feel special. Your special date night can be an awesome surprise that will make you feel even more in love.
Apart from these, you can also surprise your woman by doing the grocery shopping while they have a busy week at work or washing the dishes even when it's their turn. Simple actions, even those that involve regular household chores can surprise your other half positively and show them how much they mean to you.
So, no matter how big or small the surprise is, it will help keep things exciting between you. Don't wait for anniversaries and special occasions to plan a special date night with your loved one. This is a common mistake in a long-term relationship that can cause the feelings between partners to fade.
Have Some Alone Time for Yourself
While being with the person you love is amazing, alone time is just as valuable sometimes, especially when you live together since the early days of your relationship. Putting the u-haul joke aside, when you are in love you want to spend every waking moment with the one you care about. This is another important piece of lesbian relationship advice that you should not skip.
Above all else you are friends, and as all new lesbian couples, establishing rituals, going on dates frequently, and having sex whenever possible are important. Even though you might love each other's company, you still need to make some time for the things you love to do.
This is something that everyone, both LGBTQ+ and straight couples needs to learn to do without worrying if spending time alone will make their partner feel neglected. In most cases, communicating the need for alone time is very healthy and a sign that the people aren't completely dependent on the relationship to function.
After some time dating, you will come to see that you will need to also be your own person outside of your relationship. This will help you focus on your own interests and do things exciting to you. Doing that will help you feel refreshed, and you will not feel like you're missing out on doing things you enjoy that your significant other doesn't.
This is when you know the relationship is healthy. Extreme highs are never ideal and being by yourself and doing things you love is essential.
Take Care of Your Health
Taking care of your health while in a long-term relationship is something both partners should care about. The best thing is that it can become one of the meaningful rituals that bring you closer together. For example, you can start a new sport together or even go hiking in nature. Another very fun activity is cooking a new dish together and trying out new cooking techniques.
A healthy relationship is all about taking care of one another and making sure all their physical and emotional needs are met. This definitely includes your physical health, and there are so many more things you can do together in order to stay physically fit.
Apart from that though, you should both focus on making sure your mental health is also taken care of. Taking a walk in nature, practicing some meditation, and talking about the things that you have on your mind are some easily implementable skills that you can use in your everyday lives together in order to stay happy, healthy, and in a good mental space.
This by no means has anything to do with your weight, and if your significant other shames you for losing or gaining some pounds then you should probably reconsider this entire relationship.
Keep Things Fun in the Bedroom
One of the reasons why certain lesbian relationships fail is because of the so-called Lesbian Bed Death. For some, frequent sex might not be the biggest deal, but for others, staying active in the bedroom is a sign of a healthy lesbian relationship.
The truth for many lesbian women is that you might get caught up with work and other obligations and after some time, having more sex every single day will not be just as intriguing. When a relationship matures, you might end up having sex less frequently but it should always feel full of love and passion.
When it comes to lesbian relationship advice, you should remember that your intimate time should never stop being something you look forward to, even if you don't have sex as frequently. Relationships are so much more than sex, but keeping things fun is always important in order to keep things fresh in the bedroom.
Admit to Your Mistakes
Something that a lot of lesbian women struggle with is admitting to their own mistakes. Letting go of your ego and owning up to what you did wrong is a piece of lesbian relationship advice you should not ignore. You might want to stay mad and not talk to your significant other until they apologize, but being stubborn can cause so many unnecessary issues.
Admitting to the mistakes you have made is not something to be ashamed of and that is an important piece of lesbian relationship advice. It shows growth and personal development which allows you to maintain a healthy lesbian relationship in which both parties evolve.
Never forget that your lover is also your best friend. It's not worth it to make them upset and doubt your intentions by being too stubborn to apologize when you're in the wrong. This lesbian relationship advice will lead you to a mindset that will limit negative interactions between you and help your relationship grow.
"I could say the same thing I've said in every relationship: I'm happy. But there's happiness, and there's love, and then there's completion." -Ellen DeGeneres
Work on Your Dreams Together
Last but not least, something that every lesbian relationship needs in order to stay healthy is for both parties to have dreams in common. These are different for each couple and there is no set order in which you should do things.
Some of the dreams lesbian couples have revolve around becoming legal partners and getting their own house together. Some want to have children together and some lesbian couples don't. Some are simply looking forward to graduating together or getting their dream jobs.
Regardless of what your dreams in life are, talking about them and working on them together and knowing you have someone to talk to about them is so important. Whatever you do for your own life and everything you build together will contribute to a happier future together. If you're looking for such a fulfilling relationship, don't hesitate to join a lesbian chat now and find the love you've always dreamt of.
Whether you end up becoming parents one day or traveling the world full-time, your girlfriend should be your best friend and partner. Envisioning these things together and working on achieving your goals will lead to a happy and fulfilling life together.
Relationships Require Work From Both Sides
One of the things you need to keep in mind is that one person alone can't fix a relationship. In order for a lesbian relationship to work, both parties need to contribute and mutually understand how much effort goes into making real love last. If you notice red flags early on, staying in the relationship, despite how hard you try, might not make things ideal.
The most important relationship advice you can follow is to always put your happiness and mental health first and make sure that you are your partner's priority. The more understanding and love involved in a lesbian relationship, the easier it will be to solve most common issues and ensure that you and your partner stay happy and in love.
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