10 things you should never ask a gay person

Last Updated 13.08.2018
4 min read

Coming out as gay nowadays is becoming more and more common. But while in many countries it’s not a big deal anymore, the way some people behave when they find out someone isn’t straight is very often concerning. It often puts gay people in a very uncomfortable and awkward environment. Here are some of the most common mistakes people make when they found out the person they are talking to is not straight.How do you know you’re gay if you’ve never been with a woman?” This is perhaps the most common question many gay people get and it’s unbelievably annoying. Like, did you need to experiment with women to know you were straight? What about porcupines? How do you know you wouldn’t enjoy sex with a porcupine if you don’t at least try it?I hope you’re not going to try it on with me?Booooi, why would we waste all the effort trying to chase after you and recruit you to the cause when there are plenty of gay men out there we wouldn’t have to try anywhere near as hard with? Seriously, team Straight has nothing to fear — unless you want to star in a new gay webcam series.When did you first decide you were gay?What do you expect to hear? That it was a beautiful day, a proud day. He’d spent quite a long time planning it all, making sure he’d got everything just right. Scanned hundreds of brochures, tried on a variety of outfits, and listened to mixtapes of Ocean Colour Scene, Kylie, Madonna, PJ Harvey, Guns N Roses and Will Young — just to make sure this was what he wanted? Try to understand that accepting yourself and not rejecting your feelings for gay men can be a long drawn-out process marked with self-doubt, worry and disastrous experimentation.“Are you a top or a bottom?” First of all, this is extremely rude. It’s like asking your mom which sexual position she prefers, and, hopefully, you wouldn’t ask her that. And if you would, then go ahead and ask this question to your gay friend. Everyone probably expects these kind of questions from you anyway.“I would never have known you were gay. You seem so straight.” You think this is a compliment, but it’s really not. This is not meant as a dig against guys who do “pass for straight,” but it’s not the kind of thing any of gay men should be striving for. Being own authentic selves should be the goal. Besides, gay community takes a lot of courage to be out and proud.Which one is the man and which one is the woman?If being a gay guy around straight men has taught people anything, it’s that they’re all secretly fascinated by gay sex. Usually this curiosity manifests itself in fear or suspicion that they’ll catch whatever mythical illness it is that makes you want gay sex, but occasionally straight guys will go on a fact-finding mission. It really is no mystery — there is no man or woman, both people have penises, so just deal with it.“You should take me shopping!” Should he? Even if he liked shopping, following you around to a bunch of stores while you try on clothes is most probably not exactly his idea of a dream weekend. Maybe if you agreed to try on whatever he told you to, no questions asked, and bought him dinner afterwards, he would be more inclined to say yes, but even then you’re looking at a hard sell.Do you ever wish you weren’t gay? No, but thanks for asking, hun! These kind of questions make gay people slightly mad as by asking it people are straight away assuming that being gay sucks, and being straight is like winning the lottery or something. To put it simply — this assumption is wrong.Would you date my other gay friend? You will be a perfect couple! As long as they live in a country liberated from arranged marriages and matchmaker service, they are well aware of all the opportunities they have in from of them. It is kind of you to take interest in their love life, but don’t get too excited in playing matchmaker role, be subtle and if you want two adults to be introduced to each other, find a way to make it happen, but don’t play drama club, would you?Could you please be my best gay friend? Don’t be ridiculous. Gay people are humans and not toys. Stop being overly excited about meeting somebody and possessing them in your life just because of their sexual orientation. Be friends with them for their personality and interests, and not the gender the prefer having sex with.

By TAIMI on August 13, 2018.Canonical linkExported from Medium on July 7, 2020.

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