Each couple is bound to have different rules they will need to agree on, as every relationship is different. The one thing that can prove very helpful is knowing where to start in regards to these rules. Here are some common and helpful open relationship rules that can help your relationship last.
Rule #1: Be Open and Honest about Everything
Can an open relationship save your bond with your partner? Can having other partners affect your intimacy with your other half? These are all questions that are normal to think about and you need to start discussing them right away.
The very first thing that is necessary for every open relationship is honesty. Being open and honest with your partner about everything that goes on between you and your relations with other partners is crucial for keeping open relationships healthy.
First and foremost, you need to discuss with your partner setting some ground rules when it comes to the people you choose to spend time with. Most partners in open relationships prefer to know when their other half has multiple sexual partners, how many partners they have, and in general, just be aware of one another.
Following that, you need to discuss the levels of intimacy you will have with other people. Some relationships are strictly sexual in nature and only happen once. Other relationships have a recurring character and you need to make sure that your primary partner is okay with that.
It is very easy to cause problems when it comes to open relationship boundaries so you need to make sure that you are as honest with your partner as possible. You both need to be on the same page for the open relationship to work well and have regular check-ins where you can both be open about your needs.
Open marriage rules from thou wife.
β Calvin_ (@Calvin_mlw) July 20, 2019
I can live with these ?? pic.twitter.com/iAbfrwlauL
Rule #2: Discuss What Each Person Considers Cheating
Second of all, you need to both be clear about your views on cheating between the two of you. For most open relationships, partners in the community consider cheating to be something very terrible and truly condemn it.
Usually, most couples consider cheating to be taking place when the other partner doesn't inform them of a person they have had relations with. As mentioned previously, open relationship rules state that honesty is the best policy. If you are not open and honest with your primary partner about other people you have relations with, this can definitely be considered cheating.
Since you have decided to open up your relationship, the other person might not want to be informed about everyone you sleep with. This is especially common when the relationship is a one-sided open relationship and not both people choose to have multiple partners.
If the other person feels like they don't want to know about all of the people you spend time with, and don't consider you not telling them everything as cheating, then you have no reason to worry. This is exactly why discussing this is important and why you should prioritize these types of talks as rules in your open relationship.
Rule #3: Set Very Clear Boundaries and Expectations
Talking about what is completely off-limits when it comes to other relationships and what is acceptable is the best way to ensure both you and your primary partner feel comfortable and safe in the relationship.
While many people believe that many open relationships can't be as long-lasting as monogamous ones, rules that respect each others' boundaries are exactly what can help them last. Knowing exactly what your partner is comfortable with and what they're not will help you give an exact definition to your open relationship.
For example, many partners are often seeking emotional intimacy as well as sexual relationships with other people outside of their primary partner. If your partner is not okay with you having such a connection with someone else, you need to set emotional boundaries.
When is it okay in their eyes to be with someone outside of your relationship with them and what relationship status will that relationship have? Are you able to have other partners just for sexual activities or can you form more meaningful relationships apart from casual sex?
These are some ground rules you should discuss in order to make sure that one partner doesn't feel left out. This way, you will be able to set emotional boundaries that will make both parties feel respected. At the same time, you will be able to know whether this open relationship would work better than a classic monogamous relationship between you.
Rule #4: How Much Time will You Spend with Other Partners?
Something you need to pay a lot of attention to when being in an open relationship is choosing how much time you will spend with your main partner and how much time you will devote to other people in your life.
Non-monogamy needs to revolve around love and spending enough time with your other half, just like you do with all your relationships. This usually has nothing to do with sexual acts and sexual activities. It depends on how much time your other half wants to spend with you on a daily basis.
If your partner expresses their feelings about you not spending enough time with them, you need to have set a rule on how to deal with this. The one thing you can arrange is for you to have more date nights where all your focus can be on that one person.
Emotional needs in these open relationships end up becoming more important than physical ones as the latter can be covered by more than one person. What matters the most is maintaining a great and loving relationship with your partner and setting a rule to spend more time with them can help you both stay close and be in love.
Rule #5: Discuss Jealousy Openly
When people first go into an open relationship, they can put their jealousy aside as they are excited about this new situation. Usually, people who have not been in an open relationship before can form thoughts of jealousy a lot easier.
This is totally normal and can happen to everyone, even people who have been in open relationships before. Once again, you need to take the time to discuss this with your partner. This should be a ground-rule between the two of you.
When one of you starts feeling jealousy for any reason, you need to find the cause of this and discuss it until it is no longer a problem. This is especially important to the longevity of your own relationship and it will allow your partner to feel safe and loved.
Does your partner feel okay with you seeing people in a social context and going on dates without forming a relationship with those people? If so, you will need to find a way to deal with jealousy and work on your boundaries and expectations once again.
βOne of the most valuable things we can learn from open sexual lifestyles is that our programming is changeable.β Dossie Eston.